{March 22, 2013}   The book of vomit.

It’s been seven days since my last blog. Forgive Father for I have sinned. Psych. What can I say?…life has been busier than usual. Our children’s nanny is away on her yearly holiday, which equates to a very busy momma.

As of last week,  all of my (ya right) spare time has been devoted, unfortunately, not to blogging, but to  trying to finish my non-fiction book for my monthly book club meeting. Or as my husband calls it, “Nerd club” (he’s just jealous). Well, my efforts turned out to be fruitless as it was the first time I ever came to book club without finishing the assigned book. I hold my head down in shame. Forgive me!

Of course, when our extra set of hands is away on vacation, my whole family becomes sick with the stomach flu.  I know that previously I had written about how amazing I thought our body was and how cool it is that the vomitus centre knows when we are going to be sick. Well, I’ve had a change of heart. No two ways about it, puking sucks. There is nothing cool or interesting about the act of puking.

Since I was last sick, my oldest son also joined the vomiting party. Then, my daughter decided to give a repeat performance in the upchucking show. Twice. I have been up to my elbows in changing pukey bed sheets and laundry galore. Not cool!

As I write this, I feel queasy. Oh oh. Here we go again! But, is that my vomitus centre warning me about an impending puking session or am I just having phantom stomach pains. Time will tell. Stay tuned…ha ha. 


{March 13, 2013}   Like gag me with a spoon

A couple of nights ago,  I threw up many times.  I started my evening just not feeling quite right and was pretty sure that at some point,  I was going to puke. Normally, I would do just about anything not to upchuck: plead with a higher power, sell my first born (no wait, maybe my second) or anything else I could think of. This time, I was at peace with the imminent vomitus. 

I shouldn’t have been surprised about my upset tummy,  as in the last month,  both my daughter and middle son had their turn with the stomach flu. 

I went to bed early,  waiting for that feeling to arrive. Sure enough, at about 10:30 pm,  I calmly got out of bed and waited for the action to start. About a minute later, it was showtime. It was violent. Everything came up. I didn’t look at IT as I kept my eyes closed. But, I am pretty sure my stomach content was empty. I wiped my mouth, washed my hands and went back to bed. 

Instead of wallowing in self-pity and questioning, ‘Why me?’, I lay in bed and admired my son and daughter who had recently encountered the same kind of night as I just had. Throwing up sucks. I HATE it. I know no one really likes it but I REALLY REALLY hate it. But, my children were so brave when it was their time of need and threw up like champs.  Okay, my son did declare once that he was dying, but other than that, they were true puking warriors.

I knew, from watching my children do the deed, that I’d have  at least 2 or 3 more puking fests before I could retire from that chapter for the time being.

Sure enough, not soon after, vomit number two was rearing its ugly head and once again I made it to the porcelain bowl with plenty of time to spare.  As I had suspected, there was no food left in my stomach but my body tried to bring whatever up it could anyway. As my stomach was convulsing,  I was thinking how amazing my body is that it could do that. I was in awe of the act of puking.

Vomiting is the act of forceful expulsion of the content of your stomach; up through the esophagus and out through the mouth or nose. There is actually a spot in the human brain stem called the vomiting centre. This part communicates to the rest of the body that it needs to vomit. It sends a message and soon after, the abdominal muscles begin to contract, forcing the stomach contents out. Vomiting must run its course. Isn’t the body so fascinating!

Anyway,  sure enough, I had to get out of bed a few more times before I was able to get some shut eye at around 3:30 am. 

As interesting as this all is, I hope not to experience the amazing abilities of my vomiting centre for a very long time.

et cetera